Very Sick Chronicler, but I Caught Some

Scott: Lady Astor’s notes – smallpox blankets, talk to Zhang about charity.

Roberto: [as NPC] Let’s be clear, do you have anything proving Regis left you in charge? [As Morgan] No, but the alternative is Jenna. [as NPC] Yes, sir. And what would you like done?

Jet [GM]: I’ve been friend-zoned? By FISH??

Scott [makes ass-kissing noise]
Dami: How did you do that? I can’t do that with my hands! I want to take that sentence back now.

A short Interlude

Scott: Do you live on a different Redemption than I do?
Roberto: You live on Redemption? Since when? You stay long enough to grab a wife and leave?

Xsol: Tell the guard your father sent for you.
Tariq: But I don’t want to lie.
Xsol: Great. Now he develops morals.
Half the room: He’s going to be a Jedi, he has to develop them sometime.
Meta-Xsol: Yes but not when it was inconvenient for me!

Causing Scenes.

Roberto: It can be old and awesome, look at Lady Astor.

Scott: We’ve already stated what we’re going to do. We’re waiting on the GM to come around in the personality-o-rama in the chair over there.

Roberto: And that’s who I’m talking to! The Sith Muppet!!!

Tariq: The heroine of the story (to Dora, GM looking at Dami) That’s you –
Everyone: dies laughing

The Bodies in the Garden

Meta-Morgan: My explosive dip is off with the AIA.

Jet [GM]: Your translating diplomatic boobs are not the issue here. That sentence didn’t happen.
Everyone: Yes it did!
Scott: It may have happened all the way to the quotes page.

Xsolthynir: Because Jered has a fish…counting squad…

Jet [GM]: We’re not driving Miss Daisy, we’re driving that dildo. Now come on.

Lord Jessik: What do I do with that when it gets here?
Scott types into Gchat.
Jet [GM]: No the answer is not kill it and bury it in the garden.
Scott: This is why they made a cat the heir to the House!

The Tindalo Investiture

Kris: You made Jet snarf an omelet you asshole.

Kris Jet: [singing]
Damien: Kill someone. Pick someone at random.
Mark: [mimes shooting Damien.] There, now you don’t have to suffer through it.

Jet [GM]: It’s a green peg. Then it turns yellow.
Kris: Then it goes ‘pika pika’ and evolves.

Roberto: Has any effort been made to wake up the sleeping GM?
Kris: Repeatedly, to no avail. Drastic measures may be necessary…. Dami, die or something.
Roberto: Lori, Damien is pregnant.

Roberto: I wish I was delusional. It would make things easier.
Kris: You do realize that none of us are here, right?
Roberto: That’s actually very reassuring.
Scott: Thank you Kris. Yes, Roberto, you’ve actually been in a rubber room all alone for the last three months.

Many People: Feliz Puppydog. (Bark bark bark bark) Feliz puppydog (bark bark bark bark) I want to wish you a merry puppy…

Azura: This is a trap! We’re laying a trap for the Shadows? *whispers* That chair over there is very suspicious.
Mohindre: This is a psychic link, Azura.
Azura: Oh right!

Mark: Well, Mistress Sparkly Tits.

En Route to Mandalore

Mark: Throw me the plug I’ll throw you the whip.
Kris: That..that…
Mark: That went all kinds of There.
Kris: I’m not sure that went where you expected it to go to.

Zhang: And Skywalkers cause problems.
Brem: And he is all of them.

Kris: It’s the Deaglan of Mandalore.
Jet [GM]: It’s the Deaglan of Mandalore. Except she’s not fucking her ship.
Jet [GM] and Kris: Yet.

Lady Astor: Joshua don’t you touch my godson! I will write you out of my will! That little academy you’re so fond of? You want that new wing on Tromyr, don’t you?

Jet [GM]: Azura! The GM is going to reach into the game and throttle you! Just talk to him!
Azura: I can’t. Kris is laughing too hard.

Zhang: I don’t regret that the kidnappers accidentally set a fire that killed our father on the way out.
Laurel: Convenient.
Morgan: No, not convenient. You see, when you go through the trouble of kidnapping someone for ransom you don’t want to kill the people on the other end. Then you don’t have anyone to call and say ‘We have the girl.’

Laurel: I am here to help Shadowforce, and the Jedi. My job description does not state, ‘And Sith shoot lightning at me.’
Morgan: No but your diary does.

Blaine: Who are you to question me?
Damien: Darth Heredis.

Kate: Probability is a two-bit whore for certain bloodlines.

Morgan: Leave yourself room for probability to help you. Han Solo once yelled, “Never tell me the odds.” This is, in fact, a survival trait.

Laurel: YOU HARDWIRED HER TO BE A SITH?
Morgan: She already WAS a Sith! I’m not supposed to go in there and make them something they aren’t! So I made her a better Sith!
Laurel: By hard-wiring her? MORGAN! You’re supposed to clear the channels, not hardwire them!
Morgan: That’s what we did!
Laurel: This is why we don’t let YOUR KIND into the Towers!
Morgan: Wait, what do you mean by my kind? Because usually that’s racist–
Laurel: MEN! Men who are STUPID!

In Your Head….

Roberto: My mildly racist ghetto village is problematic.

Jet [GM]: I love my players.
Dami: Now you don’t or you wouldn’t throw us into rock porn.
Mark: HUNT ROCK PORN.
Jet [GM]: I love my players.

Roberto: It’s the Beth that keeps on Bething.

Azura: Sometimes the voices just aren’t worth listening to.

Lucian: Nope. Luna Lovegood did not just ride into battle against Slendermen on the back of a garthim. Nope. No.

It’s….classified.

Mohinder: I have a weird question.
Tabbins: Usually.

Roberto: I’ve never made a spot check involving that cup.

Roberto: Dami, your birthday involves sex and coke?
Scott: Or at least gender and carbonated beverages.

Scott: It can only speak in advertising slogans. It only knows hate.

Jet [GM]: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Scott: Is that you?
Je/t [GM]: It’s me. ow. me. ow. meow. meow
Scott: Good, now you are gming Chess and we’re back in game.

Kris: Xsol is lawful neutral until tey gets bored. Then tey is chaotic neutral until someone says, “stop that!”

Jet [GM]: The size of the psychic signature attached to that bucket is huge.

Roberto: I was going to attempt emotional contact with a bucket.

The Return to Tavere

Sean: People can’t handle the Garos.

Richwell: That’s very noble of you.
N’Pesh: Occasionally.

Kris: It’s an even guess whether it’s that she’s half-naked or half-elven that’s causing Flindar’s troubles.

Garos: My heart is hungry.

Jared [GM]: Nathan’s got you beat. With his armor on, his move silently is -4.
Sean: What’s he wearing?
Jared [GM]: Hide.
Sean: Isn’t that ironic?

Kris: You’re gonna kill Joanna.
Jared: Laughter’s good medicine.
Sean: Brings up all the good humors.

Garos: So which way do we need to go besides south, east, west…

[Nathan gives Garos a ring.]
Meta-Nathan: Now that you’ve accepted my proposal…

Sean: Level 20 Barbarian seamstress.
Joanna: I keep breaking the needle and then I rage.

Kris: N’Pesh, our stableman.
Sean: Well, someone in this party has to be stable.

N’Pesh: We meet again *eye twitch* …cat.

Joanna: Oops, I left the dog on. You weren’t supposed to know about the dog.

Joanna: Except when you released the Zombie Plague.
Meta-Flindar: That was my cousin Charlie…And no one talks about that. You swore the Oath with the town, N’Pesh. You swore the Oath.

Garos: We should go to a town with cheaper whores.

Jared [GM]: CSI N’Pesh.

Jared: By Kris’ phone. It’s a spider. It’s that big.
Joanna: I welcome our new spider overlords.
Sean: I’ve brought you four sacrifices!

Garos: We still have to get the other one.
N’Pesh: She can walk.
Garos: The half-eaten dead one?

We all Hate Balsa Wood

Jet [GM]: This is a group that pays really good attention…to really inane shit.

Roberto: I’m nimbler than I am pretty, and I’m prettier than I am smart.

The collective group:
A fuckload of Saldanas
A Meditation of Jedi
A Rage of Sith
A Riot of Janissary

Scott: Are Minbari smarter than Mon Calamari?
Damien: Yes, Mon Calamari can recognize a trap.

Scott: As spokesman for the Krii Noraan I’d just like to say “ooooooooooooh.”

Everyone singing: I hate balsa wood, I hate balsa wood…
Jet [GM]: Kill someone. Pick one at random.
Scott: Vader.
Jet [GM]: At the table! At the table!
Scott: Bring him out, I’ll kill him at the table.

Jet [GM]: It’s Darklord Duck, lord of the Sith.

Kris: You just made the GM snarf apple juice you asshole.

Scott: Morgan teleports in, tags T’han, says “Tag you’re it!” looks at Gar and says, “I wish it was harder for you to find me” and teleports out.

Mark: You’ve been Rigel-rolled.