Exar Kun vs. Ceyl Ookita

(Found this while trying to search for dates on other quotes.)

Exar Kun: Free Me!
Ceyl: But you’re so useful where you are!
EK: Free me, and we can rule the galaxy together!
Ceyl: Not interested, try again.
EK: Free me and…you’ll never have to pay for another gown again!
Ceyl: I own the company that makes them, try again.
EK: ARGH!
Ceyl: Toepick!

End Game

Larry: I’m offended.
Kris: Live with it.

Amaya: I try lifting a droid with move object.
Rich [GM]: You fail. *pause* Okay, you can roll.
John: *rolls a 1*

Rich [GM]: Attack one will hit, attack two will not. Attack three will hit, attack four will not.
John: Attack five will hit, attack six will not.
Kris: He loves me, he loves me not. I’ve run out of things to hit. He loves me not.

Kris: Ooh, Kyp did better than Shadowstalker! He took one down all by himself!
Mike: *gives Kris A Look*

Shadowstalker: What do I see?
Rich [GM]: You see a sword droid. Stabbing you.

Yoda [to the dying Ceyl]: Help you, I can.

Sam: I’m going to use lucky. And if I roll a natural one two times in a row, I deserve whatever Rich throws at me.

Ceyl: And not dying, and Yoda is talking in my head, so what’s the offer?
Mike: Two for one hot dogs.

[Yoda ‘possesses’ Ceyl with her permission]
Meta-Yoda: Mmmm, fuck you I will.
Meta-Ceyl: Get the images out of my head! He’s in my head! I can’t get the images out of my head!

Ceyl/Yoda: Prepared, we are.

Char’ack: I couldn’t figure out which end of this to put in Vap.

John: Shadowstalker the bloodpool, the bloodpool.

Sadow: Who dares disturb my slumber?
Ceyl/Yoda, snarling: Darth Livida, this is.

Amaya: That’s NOT Ceyl!
Char’ack: Who are you?
Ceyl/Yoda: Larger problems you have right now!

Ceyl/Yoda: Proud of her we are….not.

Lumiya: Time to become Dark Mistress of the Sith.

Lumiya dies, force spirit appears.
Lumiya: Oh, Becky! *disappears to go possess Becky

[And at this point, one of the players ran off to join the National Guard, and the game came to a sudden, inglorious halt at our moment of triumph.]

Naga Sadow’s Tomb

Char’ack: I’m starting to warm up to Senator Bob.
Kris: Because you own Senator Bob now.

Cybermind: She must prove herself worthy through the trials.
Char’ack: Her underling would appreciate you not killing him while she undergoes the trials.

Ceyl: 82?? Okay, we cannot be expected to solve this by randomly opening doors.
Amaya: But let’s keep on doing this.

Naga Sadow: Remember me? DIE!

Kris: Anything can be flanked. You’re ShadowStalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter!
Mike: I can’t be flanked.
Kris: You may have ShadowStalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter surrounded, but you’re the one who’s flanked!

Spikes!

Char’ack: Isn’t she your favorite?
Ceyl: [pulls Char’ack out of her hood] Char’ack? Why are you in my hood – ow! [Drops Char’ack as he extends the spikes she inserted in his back]
Char’ack: Every so often I like making snarky comments at Zanair.

Ceyl: No, I just stopped by to give you a present and take away my Senator.
Zanair: It’s appreciated.
Ceyl: Which? The gift or taking away Char’ack?
Zanair: Both.

Mike: Leading causes of death: Smoking, Cancer, ShadowStalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter. “We’re catching up.”

The Most Dangerous Techie Ever

[Aerys hops into a bag. Mike picks up the bag and hands it to Kris with the cat in it.]
Mike: Did you order Chinese?

Rich [GM]: Your cousin Ru’tah.
Mike: Are you sure it’s Ru’tah and not U’tah?
Rich [GM]: U’tah’s your other cousin.

Shadowstalker: Well, my plan was to take your place. No one would know the difference.
Ru’tah: My wife would.
Shadowstalker: Your wife is going?
Ru’tah: That was the plan.
Shadowstalker: [pauses, thinking] How much did you make last year?
Larry and Kris: I’ll give you a million credits to sleep with your wife!

Rich [GM]: Give me a roll on your gambling check.
Mike Rolls.
Rich [GM]: You’re horrible at gambling. But you are way better at bluffing. Roll that.

After making a bet that the next group to assault Badger’s base would get three sections in:
Shadowstalker: [draws weapons] That bet was already mine, because I was already here! [shoots all the guards in the back] Take cover, Mel, we’re switching sides!
Mel: [pauses] No shit.

Rich [GM]: If you’ve got 100 guards between you and Shadowstalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter….you may still want to run.

Logan: He must be the infamous Vap!
Ceyl: Infamous?
Logan: He’s the most dangerous techie ever!

Mike: So who is the most dangerous female in the galaxy?
Rich [GM]: You mean besides Ceyl?

Wedding Plans

Rich [GM][Meta-Bride]: Oh, you’re the slut Zanair’s been sleeping with.
Kris [Meta-Ceyl]: And you’re no longer in the running to be his bride. And you’d better start running. Or you won’t be able to.
John: On the count of three.
John and Kris: Three.
[Everyone mimes lightning blasts.]

Rich [GM]: They still call it the Jedi Academy even though there are Sith in it.
Kris: It must drive Luke crazy. Every time he says ‘Jedi Academy’ Ceyl giggles.

Rich [GM]: What’s your gather info?
Sam: 39
Rich [GM]: You have a slight chance.
Sam: [rolls]
Rich [GM]: Not with that roll.
Sam: Hey, that’s a totally solid 40.

Jason: Oh there are people here. I know them.
Kris: No you don’t.
John: At least not Biblically.

Char’ack: With such beautiful women, Zanair, it must be a hard choice who to dance with first?
Zanair: There’s no hard decision. I’ve been saving the first dance…[pauses and smirks slightly at Ceyl] for the Hero of the Republic.

Sam: Do I own Senator Bob?
Rich [GM]: No.
Sam: Senator Bob is OBVIOUSLY corrupt!

Ceyl explains why she isn’t upset Zanair has to marry, and why their relationship isn’t ending, and gives a concise explanation of the political ramifications, ending with, “What, did you think I was just another pretty face?”
Malissa: [very small voice] I’d been hoping.

Ceyl [texting over com to Zanair after getting all three brides into House of Ookita fashions]: Look, Darling, dress-up dolls!
Zanair: *face-palms*

Rich [GM]: The only thing you find out is she was rescued from an orphanage.
Sam: Not one of my orphanages?! Who was doing that?
[John and Kris point at Larry.]

Sam: At least the something organic Vap showed interest in doesn’t eat people.

Vap’s Learning Lesson

Rich [GM]: We’re talking 300 billion credits. We need to bail out the Galactic Bank.

Ceyl: Blackheart, you just like Dancing Girls.
Blackheart: Well, yeah, do you blame me?
Ceyl: No.
Blackheart: They’re like younger versions of you.
Sam: I like the younger part.

Char’ack: I heard that Aja has passed from this galaxy to the next one, as the saying goes.
Amaya: Yes. It would have been hard for her to contact me otherwise.

Rich [GM]: Light Side and Dark Side agreeing on something? We can’t both be right! You must be deluded!
Kris: The problem is, we’re both right.
John: And you’re both deluded.

Ceyl: Zanair, stop reminding me that you’re technically a Jedi.

[Ceyl picks up Char’ack from inside her hood.]
Ceyl: Char’ack? What are you doing in my hood?
[Char’ack extends the spikes that Ceyl just put into his spine]
Ceyl: OW!

Ceyl: I wasn’t expecting him to be in my hood!
Char’ack: I fell asleep!

Sam: I’m going shopping for guards.

Rich [GM]: Shadowstalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter Guild Bodyguard subsection: You are already protected, and you already don’t know it.

Char’ack: Red and black is fine. Hides the bloodstains.
Shopkeeper: What were you planning to do at this party??

John: Hey, Aja died twice, and recruited her own replacement after she was dead.
Sam: Aja should serve as a paragon of loyalty that we should all strive to emulate. Although maybe not emulate the dying.

Rich [GM]: XP. Everyone gets 1000. Vap gets an extra 200 for learning a valuable life lesson.
John: Don’t fuck with Ceyl.

Intimidating the Competition

Grigor: I’m being reassigned, aren’t I?
Ceyl: Yes.
Grigor: To Alchemy Lab #1, right?

John: Wait, who’s Nelson?
Kris: The guy who keeps calling during game.
[Not five minutes later, Rich’s phone rings. It’s Nelson.]
Larry: Weren’t we just talking about this?

Shadowstalker: I’m Shadowstalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter. Bang. You’re dead.

Shadowstalker: Your grandmother’s a slaver?
Ceyl: It’s Ryloth. We’re Twi’leks. Slaves, Dancing Girls, Majordomos. Our three major exports.

Ceyl’s Grandmother: I’ve seen your video.
Shadowstalker: Which one? The porn? Or the other ones?
Grandmom: The porn. I’ve seen the others, but they don’t excite me as much.

Mike: You owe a little rabbit a favor.
Rich [GM]: Kiss my ring.

Shadowstalker: You Wilda?
Wilda: Shadowstalker the Bounty Hunter…Bounty Hunter.
Shadowstalker: This is my associate, Ceyl Ookita. Her private bodyguards. [pauses] That’s our engineer.

Wilda: What are you offering?
Shadowstalker: We don’t annihilate your guild?
Wilda: Something more substantial?
Shadowstalker: We don’t annihilate your guild…for now?

Mike: Even the money’s scared to run away from Shadowstalker the Bounty Hunter, Bounty Hunter.

Cute With Style

Mike: Never assume a gun is unloaded. Even if you’ve fixed the gun five times and there’s no clip in it.

Ceyl: Fine. You can come along too, Kyp, and if you’re right about Alderaan, you get Lumiya’s extra credits.
Kyp: That’s all right, Mistress; Lumiya needs them more than I do.
Lumiya: Hey! That was mean!
Ceyl: Well, be mean back.
Lumiya ineffectually hits Kyp in the arm.
Kyp: [pretending] Ow.
Ceyl: I said be mean, not be cute.

Kris: Although Zanair and Ceyl carved a door into a heart with our lightsabers. So I can’t really talk about cute. But at least we were cute with style.
Mike: And blasted the doors open.
Kris: And killed people with them. Cute, with style.

Kris: What do our scouts report?
Rich [GM]: It’s a trap.
Kris: Thank you, Admiral Ackbar.

Kris: Blackie’s trying to pretend he’s our laser sounds.
Mike and Rich [GM]: Mew! Mew mew mew Meeeeoow!
Mike: And the explosions go Woof!

Rich [GM]: The last remnants of the Empire are holed up at an old Rebel base.

Everyone: It’s a trap!
Kris sits down, but the cat took her seat. She flails about trying not to squish the cat, and trying to stand and sit, and eventually stands, tips over the chair, and knocks over her glass of water, everywhere.
Kris: Damn you, cat!

Kris: Is the force presence light or dark?
Rich [GM]: Yes.
Mike: It’s kind of a caramel color.
Rich [GM]: Mauve.