More Slobfest

Dargash: Do you have a nickname by change?
Elnarasharod: Elnarasharod.

Pete: Not even interested in mine.
Sean: You don’t smell like Jared.
Jared [GM]: I could rub on you if you like.

Sean: I cast magic missile on the darkness.
Elnarasharod: That’s my job.

Dargash: Would it be improper to refer to you as Elnara?
Elnarasharod: Yes.
Dargash: Great. We’re going to be in battle and unable to get help. “Eln– Elsh– Hey you! Help me!

H: Hey E!
Elnarasharod glares.
H: She hates it, but she responds.

Pete: That’s good, unless you’re George, molestation is usually bad.

D&D 4.0

Brittany: I found out on my GPS I need an ‘avoid ghetto.’

Mike: The Bridges of D&D County.

Jesse [GM]: No, you quiver next to the Paladin.
Jared: No, I become ‘a quiver’.

Kris: And we have Roland sign! I can see the smoke!

Roland: I’m Baas.
Rob: Large mouth or small mouth.
Sean: My brother wants to know.

Jesse [GM]: You have the woods to the north. *Draws an R on the map*
Jared: Is that an R for woods?

Jesse [GM]: The skeleton pulls out a rusty scimitar.
Jared: Time to get tetanus.

Rob: I light the orcs on lightning.

Jesse [GM]: *points at Roland’s character* Who’s this poor guy over here with the wings?
Roland: *points at Rob* Dragon! Wings!

Jesse [GM]: The zombie goes maaaaah.
Sean: Is it a sheep zombie?
Kris: Zombie yarn!

Mike, to Kris: I’m sorry about this, I hope I miss you. (To the GM) I cast scorching burst on the Paladin.

Mike: I’m going to hit it with a magic missile again. Actually, I haven’t hit it yet with a magic missile.
Jesse [GM]: Are you going to hit it on the ground?
Mike: *rolls* I’m gonna hit the ground.

Rob: Thanks for taking away my +1 to attack.
Kris: You’re going to miss anyway.

Jesse [GM]: +10 vs. copyright infringement.
Rob: Situation bnus for not distributing.

Jesse [GM]: You look into the misty morning and you see mist….and morning.

Jesse [GM]: It’s a minor action to swap hands.
Kris: It’s a minor to swap pants?

Kris: That’s a 15 vs reflex.
Jesse [GM]: The immobile creature dodges.
Roland: Again.

Jesse [GM]: And at high noon the festival commences.
Joanna: Commences?
Jesse [GM]: Uncommences. What’s the opposite of commences?
Roland: Concludes.

Joanna: We need 40 rations. That’s 20gp.
Everyone: What?
Jared: How did you get that?
Kris: Joanna did math.

NPC: And over there is the old burial ground.
Kris: There’s a prelude to disaster.