The Return to Tavere

Sean: People can’t handle the Garos.

Richwell: That’s very noble of you.
N’Pesh: Occasionally.

Kris: It’s an even guess whether it’s that she’s half-naked or half-elven that’s causing Flindar’s troubles.

Garos: My heart is hungry.

Jared [GM]: Nathan’s got you beat. With his armor on, his move silently is -4.
Sean: What’s he wearing?
Jared [GM]: Hide.
Sean: Isn’t that ironic?

Kris: You’re gonna kill Joanna.
Jared: Laughter’s good medicine.
Sean: Brings up all the good humors.

Garos: So which way do we need to go besides south, east, west…

[Nathan gives Garos a ring.]
Meta-Nathan: Now that you’ve accepted my proposal…

Sean: Level 20 Barbarian seamstress.
Joanna: I keep breaking the needle and then I rage.

Kris: N’Pesh, our stableman.
Sean: Well, someone in this party has to be stable.

N’Pesh: We meet again *eye twitch* …cat.

Joanna: Oops, I left the dog on. You weren’t supposed to know about the dog.

Joanna: Except when you released the Zombie Plague.
Meta-Flindar: That was my cousin Charlie…And no one talks about that. You swore the Oath with the town, N’Pesh. You swore the Oath.

Garos: We should go to a town with cheaper whores.

Jared [GM]: CSI N’Pesh.

Jared: By Kris’ phone. It’s a spider. It’s that big.
Joanna: I welcome our new spider overlords.
Sean: I’ve brought you four sacrifices!

Garos: We still have to get the other one.
N’Pesh: She can walk.
Garos: The half-eaten dead one?

The Quest to Shop

Voice From Alley: Psst. Hey man, you want to sell that?
N’pesh: No.
VFA: You sure?
N’Pesh: Yes.
VFA: You want to buy something?
N’Pesh: Maybe.

Nathan: We’re going to lose him so quickly here.
Garos: We need a leash.
N’pesh: And we could probably have him design it!

Jared [GM]: He does have a squid, made out of obsidian.
Sean: It’s obsquidian!

Flindar: It’s like me if I was Fundin!

New Inn, New Towns

Fire-breathing winged dire corrupted war were-arachnogamelcorn from space

Sean: Can we sense motive on N’Pesh?

Jared: Garos runs into the stables and grabs his sword and runs away.
Joanna: Sense motive. 7.
Jared: There may be an attack!
Joanna: He can handle it.

Sean: The other one’s a pack of werewolves?

Flindar: We’re just on a quest to find an alligator.

Kris: Hey look we have a cup!
Joanna: Oh, soup.


N’Pesh: Lizards. Squirrels of the desert.

Nathan: I’m not really from there. I’m from…
Sean: Space

Joanna [As NPC werewolves]: Oh, Nathan, your feet are delicious.

Jared: I’m going to call these the wolves of attrition.

Kris: These are Sith wolves!
Joanna: The Sith wolves of attrition!

Jared: Turn him on Fundin.
Joanna: Turn him on, Fundin!
Sean: That’s why he was behind him.

Larry’s First Time with D&D 4.0

Larry [GM] as NPC: You’re the one, aren’t you?
Jason: Neo?

Jason: Yeah, I scratched him. He might need to put peroxide on it. Oh no.

Larry [GM]: Up next: Frost.
Kris: Wait, I’m Frost.
Larry [GM]: Then Snow.
Jason: This will never get confusing.

Snow: He wanted to name himself ‘Ale,’ but Snow, Frost, and Ale just didn’t work.

Kris: I think the whole people signing up Jedi as a Religion is stupid.
Nelson: Why, because there’s no Sith Religion?

Tom: Ooh. We’re surrounded. Cool.

Larry [GM]: Ice, you get hit by a javelin.
Ice: Hey, who’s throwing toothpicks?

Kris: I’m the amazing teleporting healer!

Frost [shakily]: OooOOo. Loot the bodies, buy me an ale, and get me the name of the cart that hit me.

Larry [GM]: Watches? Who’s setting watches?
Kris: Nice try, GM.

More Slobfest

Dargash: Do you have a nickname by change?
Elnarasharod: Elnarasharod.

Pete: Not even interested in mine.
Sean: You don’t smell like Jared.
Jared [GM]: I could rub on you if you like.

Sean: I cast magic missile on the darkness.
Elnarasharod: That’s my job.

Dargash: Would it be improper to refer to you as Elnara?
Elnarasharod: Yes.
Dargash: Great. We’re going to be in battle and unable to get help. “Eln– Elsh– Hey you! Help me!

H: Hey E!
Elnarasharod glares.
H: She hates it, but she responds.

Pete: That’s good, unless you’re George, molestation is usually bad.

D&D 4.0

Brittany: I found out on my GPS I need an ‘avoid ghetto.’

Mike: The Bridges of D&D County.

Jesse [GM]: No, you quiver next to the Paladin.
Jared: No, I become ‘a quiver’.

Kris: And we have Roland sign! I can see the smoke!

Roland: I’m Baas.
Rob: Large mouth or small mouth.
Sean: My brother wants to know.

Jesse [GM]: You have the woods to the north. *Draws an R on the map*
Jared: Is that an R for woods?

Jesse [GM]: The skeleton pulls out a rusty scimitar.
Jared: Time to get tetanus.

Rob: I light the orcs on lightning.

Jesse [GM]: *points at Roland’s character* Who’s this poor guy over here with the wings?
Roland: *points at Rob* Dragon! Wings!

Jesse [GM]: The zombie goes maaaaah.
Sean: Is it a sheep zombie?
Kris: Zombie yarn!

Mike, to Kris: I’m sorry about this, I hope I miss you. (To the GM) I cast scorching burst on the Paladin.

Mike: I’m going to hit it with a magic missile again. Actually, I haven’t hit it yet with a magic missile.
Jesse [GM]: Are you going to hit it on the ground?
Mike: *rolls* I’m gonna hit the ground.

Rob: Thanks for taking away my +1 to attack.
Kris: You’re going to miss anyway.

Jesse [GM]: +10 vs. copyright infringement.
Rob: Situation bnus for not distributing.

Jesse [GM]: You look into the misty morning and you see mist….and morning.

Jesse [GM]: It’s a minor action to swap hands.
Kris: It’s a minor to swap pants?

Kris: That’s a 15 vs reflex.
Jesse [GM]: The immobile creature dodges.
Roland: Again.

Jesse [GM]: And at high noon the festival commences.
Joanna: Commences?
Jesse [GM]: Uncommences. What’s the opposite of commences?
Roland: Concludes.

Joanna: We need 40 rations. That’s 20gp.
Everyone: What?
Jared: How did you get that?
Kris: Joanna did math.

NPC: And over there is the old burial ground.
Kris: There’s a prelude to disaster.

Acheivement Unlocked: Vohl!

The Vohl quotes are now up!

Except for the set of quotes from when I joined the game through when we started out into the desert. I don’t have my hand-written notes for that time-frame anymore, and my typed notes don’t have the quotes in them, and I couldn’t find them online in any of my various journals, so I suspect they are simply lost to the ether for good.