Rescuing Alexa

Scott: Siri, why did you kill Terry Pratchett?
Jet [GM]: *snarfs*
Kris: You made the GM snarf….vegetables?

Jet [GM]: Laurel drops her hands.
Morgan: I pick them up and give them back to her. I do not reveal that I have noticed she is not real.

Mark: Why are you taking my name in vain?
Damien: You’re still not god! According to your own secret diaries! Which we all read!
Kris: …religiously.

Kris: If I have a choice between C3P0 or Jar-Jar Binks I’m in Jar-Jar’s camp.
Jet [GM]: If I have a choice between C3P0 or Jar-Jar Binks I’m jumping in the sarlacc.
Roberto: If I have a choice between C3P0 or Jar-Jar Binks I’m unsubscribing from the dating site.

The Death of Shadows

Kris: I’m going to fix him further.
Roberto: You’re euthanizing him?

Scott: The galaxy is going to change because of a mistake Stormy made!
Azura: You need a better wall.
Jet [GM]: *snarfs tea*
Kris: I made the GM snarf tea. I’m an asshole.

Scott: That’s a cat strapped on a rocket with a really large magnifying glass so they look really large.
Kris: “Sir! We have an incoming cat!” “Cat?” “Well it’s trapped to a rocket. And it’s very large. Here’s a visual.”
Jet [GM]: I can’t breath, I’m laughing too hard.

Zhang: My fiance’s simple and straightforward to make happy.
Mark: He’s male. Steak and blow job. He’s good.
Raithe [the dog]: Arooo!
Jet [GM]: Even Raithe agrees! [to Raithe] I’m not going to ask how you know that.
Kris [as Raithe]: I miss Dami.
(Jet urks as the entire group falls over laughing)

Fate of the Party

Scott: Star Fantasy, the Nap. The unsuccessful sequel to Star Fantasy After Dark.

Jet [GM]: Do you want to have any control over mohin for this planning session or just you cooperate as directed and fate of the party for what happens to you?
Damien: I’m good. Fate of the party. I trust my fellow players. Except Scott. And Roberto. And possibly Mark and Kris. … Ok, I trust Greg. But he doesn’t play. And I trust Kate. Same issue.

Roberto: Rigel, as your reward for a mission well done, we present you with – a nemesis!
Scott: Hell, instead of a nemesis, we’re promoting you. Here’s a bass guitar. You no longer need to be a drummer.

Kris: We were very distracting. We were so distracting we distracted ourselves.
Roberto: What was your distraction? We came up with another mission we decided was more important than yours and did that instead.

We clearly wanted to watch TV

Mark: Is it on Lethshivo?
Kris: We have Sith Cam, they have Lethshivo.
Dami: Jedi Hulu?
Mark: JediTunes
Kris: Is it janissary flicks? Janissary Hulu?
Mark: Janissulu.
Dami: Now George Takei is a Janissary.
Kris: I’m okay with this.
Mark: It’s okay to be Takei.
Kris: Are the Sangrefey Amazon prime?
Dami: Then who are the Valkain Aldarii?
Kris: They’re Blockbuster.

Dami: Did she hit the door?
Jet: It’s a door. It doesn’t dodge.
Dami: But what if she misses.
Jet: Fine, I’ll roll. Shit. She missed the door.

Zhang: We can’t treat her as a threat. It would be like kicking a puppy.

Mark: The cake is a lie. There is only PI. Through PI I gain calories. Through calories I weight. Through weight I gain girth. Through girth, my belt is broken. The Force will free me…from my pants.

Meta-Jettana: Every time he opens his mouth, feet fall out.

Just a Few

Rigel: You can take comfort that people like you because you are useful.
Azura: No that’s no good! Because then you stop being useful and then it’s all lighstsabers and death.

Scott: Any second now, the tongue is coming.
Mark: Oh Danny Boy, the tongue, the tongue…is coming…

In Which Rigel is Tossed Under a Bus

Mark: Laurel’s going to have a cow.
Dami [holds up Vishmoo]: Moo!

Jet [GM]: There’s Joshua: “Yo Master Lucian, up top!” and Lucian, “Hey, Master J, down low!”

Dami [to Raithe]: You’re a dog!
Kris: No! It’s clear your dog has chosen to identify as a kitty. Just because she was born a dog is no reason not to support her choice in being a kitty.
Dami: Now you’ve made me feel guilty I’m not supporting her choice to be a cat.
Jet [GM] [to Raithe]: I’m going to get you a collar with a bell, and a mouse toy, and put your bed in a ray of sunshine…
Scott [to Raithe]: You are a DOG, and an Abomination of nature!
Raithe: *licks Scott’s face*

Laurel: Who is in charge of this mission?
Morgan: I’m told Rigel Dolaan.
Laurel: The drummer from Cyntrix? The Senate consultant?
Morgan: That’s what Xsolthynir said.
Laurel: Xsolthynir.
Xsol: Yes?
Laurel: Are you aware of a covert mission that I should be prepping Medical for?
Xsol: Yes? But I’m not in charge. Rigel is.
Laurel: The drummer.

Rigel: Who pulled you back?
Morgan: Azura.
Rigel: Azura? Your apprentice?
Morgan: Padawan.
Rigel. Padawan. That’s what I said.

Wyrmholes

Tabbins: You realize this is a bad idea.
Mohindre: I know! That’s why I need backup!
Greg: Bad porn music is playing in the background.

Jet [GM]: Morgan.
Scott (funny face and voice): Yessss.
Jet [GM]: Xsol.
Kris: (funny face and voice) Yesssss.
Jet [GM]: *pause while everyone laughs* Morgan.
Scott (funny face and voice): Yessss.
Jet [GM]: Xsol.
Kris: [laughing too hard to answer]

Morgan: Update.
Xsol: We are on Shiva.
Morgan: [I could ask any number of questions right now, but why don’t I shut up and keep listening.]

Scott as Vale: AND THERE SHALL COME A TIME WHEN MY HEAD FEELS LIKE IT IS UNSCREWING AND THERE SHALL BE GNASHING OF TEETH.

Jet [GM]: Who do you know who’s been to Burning Man?
Roberto: I set a man on fire once, does that count?
Jet [GM]: *snarfs*
Kris: You made the GM snarf water you asshole.

Hey There Baby, What’s Your Paradigm?

Scott: Scott Whitney, the human bong.

Scott: I’m so glad to have you as a strong moral compass.
Roberto: Was that to Kris, Xsol, or Azura?

Mark: She needs a bodyguard like I need someone to count me in.

Damien: That man’s got plenty of wood.
Jet [GM]: *stares at Dami*
Azura: That was so loud Tabbins heard it! Shhhhhhhh!

Mark: Now Garlon is magic-active, but that is not his wand.
Scott: Sure it is! Garlon, hold this wand. Now swish and flick SULTRAN!

Jet{GM}: Morgan, you see one bubble, with Janim. She screams, “MORGAN! HELP ME!” [to Azura] You didn’t hear that.
Roberto: Well, actually she did, she heard the GM just explain it to him.

Dami: The psionics in this room just went from ‘eeeee’ to ‘WAAAAAAAAAAAH’

Rourke: Goad him into eating me. What’s the worst that could happen, he kills me?
Zhang: Believe me, that I brought along a reusable suicide bomber is a major data point…